Overcoming Jealousy - Tips to Make Your Relationship Better
Everyone has a past of some kind - an ex-wife, ex-girlfriend or girl FRIENDS that they have had some kind of relationship with. If you are human, then more than likely you have felt some kind of jealousy over these relationships that your current man has.
There are all kinds of instances when we can feel jealousy. Perhaps you are at the bar and you see your boyfriend talking to another woman. Or maybe your date is openly staring at a beautiful girl across the room. Maybe he even cheated on you and you found out.
No matter how it happens, jealousy is not fun. Whether your jealousy is reasonable or not, it makes you FEEL all kinds of negative emotions, like hurt, anger, resentment - even reproach and disgust.
Let’s look at two types of jealousy - founded and unfounded. Jealousy that is reasonable would be when your boyfriend or husband has cheated on you. Jealousy that is NOT reasonable is getting mad about him mentioning his ex-girlfriend, or running into her in the store.
The reasonable kind of jealousy - for you - is a sign that something is not right in your relationship. When you feel jealousy over him cheating on you - that is of course completely normal. But what it is screaming at you is that you have something HUGE in your relationship that you and your beau need to work on with each other. If he won’t work on it WITH you - then you need to walk away.
What your emotions are telling you that you may not understand at that point is that he is making you feel like a second class citizen in your relationship. This lack of balance is difficult to deal with, and if it is not corrected, will lead to a lopsided relationship - where perhaps you are doing all the giving or all the taking. Those relationships don’t last.
The imaginary situation or past occurrence is what leads to the second type of jealousy. Let’s say you are jealous because your man ran into his old girlfriend at the mall the other day. Everyone has a past. Everyone had relationships with someone other than you at some point in their life. That is no cause for a negative reaction on your part, and will only hurt your relationship and show him that he cannot trust YOU when he tells you things.
In cases like this, your emotions are sending up a signal to your brain that all is not well within you. These are signs of emotional insecurity and fear. This is when you need to stop what you are doing and take a look inside to see what the true root of this jealousy is. Perhaps you have been hurt before and are acting defensively, or perhaps you are afraid of the unknown.
In other cases, we get jealous about things that have not even come to pass. Much like jealousy over imaginary things, this is another sign of emotional trouble within yourself. Seek to understand your SELF and these types of feelings will go away.
There are cases where jealousy is justifiable and valid and cases where it is not. In each case, you must get to the root of the problem, as jealousy is a symptom of a deeper hurt that must be healed in order for the relationship to evolve.