8 Secrets Why You Shouldn’t Be Attending an Illness Support Group
Upon the diagnosis of an illness everyone, including your doctor, likely tells you to go to a support group. Research has shown that support groups can be extremely helpful in how one copes with disease. And yet, not everyone finds a group to be the answer to the kind of support for which they are searching. Like any kind of group, there are some support groups you will “click” with and others you will not. So don’t rule out all support groups just because one doesn’t seem like a good fit.
But is a support group really necessary right now? Whether you are looking for a amyloidosis support group in New York City or an Aspergers support group in Dallas, the real question may be, is this a season in your life when you need the support that a small group offers? Just as changes occur while we living with illness for decades there are seasons in our life when an illness support group may be where we find our very best friends; Other times it may feel like we have no desire, or even need, to attend.
Below are eight signs that a support group may be something you do not need right now:
1. You are coping well with the day-to-day aspects of living with illness. You don’t think about your illness non-stop because you’re simply too busy living life.
2. You have a solid group of people who are a good influence. Friends or family members are supportive in your efforts to live your best life possible despite having an illness.
3. You don’t feel resentment, anger, or bitterness toward people who don’t deal with chronic conditions. Your relationships with others aren’t tainted by you comparing your abilities (or lack of) with others entering your thoughts.
4. You can have conversations with people without your illness ever entering into it. You understand that your illness is not such a vital part of who you are that you need to explain your medical history to every stranger you meet.
5. You don’t watch others with envy. You feel you have overcome any annoyances you may have previously felt toward people who have their health, but who do not seem to be appreciating it.
6. You have found that when you sit around at support group meetings talking about the highs and lows of living with illness, you rarely leave the meeting feel better. The support group you are in is more depressing than refreshing and talking about your illness doesn’t seem to be helpful.
7. You are able to be a good advocate for your well-being. When you need information on symptoms or tips about living with your illness, you are equipped to find the information.
8. You have formed a friendship with at least one other person who has an illness. It’s important for you to have someone with whom you can vent openly and share your vulnerabilities with in regard to how you live and cope with illness. And contributing your own ideas with another person who understands the details and “language” of illness will be helpful too.
If some of the examples above sounded like a description of where you are at with support groups, it’s likely you don’t really need a support group right now in order to live emotionally healthy with a chronic illness. However, you may be surprised to find that you could be an excellent leader of an illness support group. All of the statements above can be an easy way to create a proposal for starting up a support group.
The most successful support groups are those led by people who have overcome the daily aggravations and animosities that occur during the first years of being diagnosed with a chronic illness. Since you have coped with the initial rollercoaster of emotions and have survived, a support group of people still struggling with them would benefit from your experience and expertise.
If you feel leading a support group is not your calling then go enjoy other things you are passionate about. Remember, there are friends in wonderful support groups who will be there when you need them.